"It made me pathologically selfish. I saw everything and everyone in terms of what was in it for me. I barely recognized there was another side to the equation. And, to take a page from your ubiquitous math analogies, the equation was always an inequality - Ashley is greater than whomever."It denied me the ability to appreciate almost everything. I had almost everything I wanted. I could do whatever I wanted. I could get almost anything I wanted and I never had to make much of an effort for any of it. How could I value anything when it came so effortlessly?"Look at all the work you did for me in high school and it cost me nothing. My grades cost me little effort. And all the help I got from others toward grades or whatever else I rarely even had to ask for. It was offered up on the altar of my beauty."It prevented me from gaining any understanding of responsibility. If I didn't do something, if I omitted something, if I didn't properly appreciate the things being done for me or given. The next night he came in, he was very happy to see me. I had on a pair of dark blue shorts and a little white form-fitting T from Old Navy. He said he liked what I was wearing… it made me feel good when he complimented me. He tanned for 20 minutes, and when he came out of the room, he asked if he could sit on a chair that was behind the counter and put his shoes on. While he tied his shoes, we chatted about normal stuff… the weather, his son, work, etc. I was sitting with my legs crossed, and at one point I uncrossed them to reach around for a pen. When I turned back around, he said he liked the pink panties I had on… I got embarrassed and asked how he knew what color my panties were, and he said he could see my crotch through the gap in my shorts when I uncrossed my legs. Then he told me that when he tans, his hair gets lighter on his head… his arms… and somewhere else too. And he stood up and pulled down his pants and his cock sprang up! I had never even seen a cock! It didnt.
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